we ache for a realistic connection but my mind has begun to question whether or not we’ve ever connected before. meeting of two minds, authenticity, & the bearing of ones soul have all but been tossed aside for want of the easier things in life. sex, pleasure, fixations on what you can get here and now. it doesn’t take any of your time. in fact, you’ll be lucky if it even takes ten minutes of your time. that’s all they really think it takes to unlock you so that you pour forth.
a man’s measure, when it really comes down to it, is his measurements. are they enough to satisfy for the moment? will they leave us longing? is this simply a pass time until i find bigger & better? the only deep we wish to feel is him, & the only crying out he provides is one that is to nurture his small ego & the other that he leaves with us when he bids a goodbye.
why do i feel as if i can’t ask for more than this? i hesitate to speak out against these standards we’ve allowed, as if i could be only one to feel stiffed & stifled. i can’t be the only one.
when did we begin using one another? when were we transformed into objects of pleasure? i know this is the standard we expect from men. i know the lustful & evil grasp of his claws. why have the oppressed taken up the cruel ways of those who act vilely against us? i can’t be the only one. i can’t be the only one, can i?
what i’m asking for is for you to touch me. without touching me. i want to feel you deep inside of me, undressing the parts of my soul i think are too ugly for the world & showing those pieces the love they long for. i want to cry about the things that hurt & not fear that i will inevitably have another hasty goodbye to add to the list. i want something that lasts longer than ten minutes–longer than ten months. why is that so hard to find? maybe because it’s become so hard to talk about.
talk to me. recognize that i am your equal. call me your friend before you call me your lover. know what goes on behind the mask i wear. don’t clasp your paws at my ass as i walk past you. see the beauty that is beyond the corporal. treat us with respect. & then maybe i will let you touch me.