there’s something about letting the summer sun warm your skin after a long, cloudy week that just changes your perception on things. not in some gravely drastic way that influences the pieces of your character or anything like that, but the rays soften the world around you — or maybe, just maybe, they soften you, like butter. everything seems a little more pliable. willing to change & bend with a soft breeze, pushing you toward an end goal… though i’m not quite sure what that is yet.
sitting on the fire escape between my apartment building & the next, tucked away from the world but still capable of observing it from my hiding place, occasionally, daisy, my loving but mischievous cat, will jump onto the window sill, curious about the world outside & why i won’t let her join me out in it.
either that, or she’s reminding me that it’s time for her food. i may give her a little too much credit sometimes.
i should take the twenty minute stroll down to the beach. it’s been months since i sat in the sand & listened to the crash of the waves against the shore. being so close to it, i should take advantage of the fact more often. but we all know what they say about not appreciating what’s right in front of you. it’s often over-thought, in my opinion, because i don’t think the appreciation is what lacks. you never hear someone who lives on the beach front say “ugh, i live so close to the beach.” the appreciativeness is there. the action to express that appreciation, however, it just lacks.
how many times have i appreciated the time my friend had spent planning out a day together? or looked at another woman, loved her dress & said nothing to her about how wonderful she looks?
i appreciate beauty, love, thoughtfulness, but i lack the active nature to take advantage of it.
i long to take my friend’s face in my hands, who claims her beauty (which is immense) cannot compare to the woman she stands next to, hold her silly face still & to tell her how her beauty falls far beyond what she could possibly know. my friend, with a pure heart & kind soul, deserves to feel as if the world is set on fire by her touch. she should know that God, in his greatest mercy, made her humble, so she would not grow haughty & prideful due to the lustful eyes of men. but rather, she takes those eyes & forces the to look upon the truest beauty, that is, Christ upon his cross.
she is made for a love more vast than oceans.
we so often ignore the warmth of the touch of the sun until after a period of absence. may this be my call to action, to take all that needs said & to simply say it. to express the appreciation planted deep within me.
but maybe before that, i should feed my cat.